The other day I went to the gym, which I don’t do nearly enough.  And what I witnessed might deter me from ever going again.  I got onto my elliptical machine, put on my ipod, and started my workout.  It’s amazing what music can do to motivate you.  And when it comes to workout music I have no shame.  Britney Spears, J-Lo, hell, I even have an old school Debbie Gibson song on there.  Oh, now she goes by DEBRA Gibson.  It’s like, really?  So few people know who you are anymore, you’re gonna change your name and further lessen your chances at recognition?   Anyway, there I was, jamming away to “I’m a Slave For You,” when suddenly out of nowhere I hear a loud and extremely disturbing noise.  It was coming from my right side so I turned to see what it was.  Much to my dismay, it was coming from the guy on the machine next to me.  He was making this noise that I would describe as half grunt, half howl.  And the look on his face was incredibly disturbing.  Almost too disturbing to talk about.  It was as if he was in pain, but in some freaky way kind of enjoying it.  Then the most unfortunate part of the incident happened.  I started to wonder if this was that guy’s “sex face!”  And the constant grunting/howling was not helping my mental picture.  Truth is, I don’t want to see anyone’s “sex face.” I was officially repulsed, but I didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it no matter how hard I tried.  I only had 6 minutes left to do on my machine, but being next to this freak show it would feel like 6 hours.  I just don’t get it, if you’re really struggling that much just lower your machine’s incline, don’t act like you’re humping it!! 

So with 4 ½ minutes still left on my machine, I got my stuff together and got the hell out of there.  But I will tell you, it took a good couple hours for me to get that horrendous visual out of my head.  “Sex faces” should be kept in the privacy of your own home. They have no place out in public.  Oh, and I noticed the guy was wearing a wedding band.  I wonder if his significant other knows he’s having sex face with everyone at the gym.  Takes nerve.

And so today’s Douchebag of the Day….well, you know, please don’t make me relive it.